Muslim Air

I have an idea for a new airlines. Venture capitalists, are you listening? My idea is simple. Muslim Air, an airline for Muslims. It would eliminate most of the problems us regular folk face with commercial flying, and as an added bonus, would make it unnecessary for the U.S. to wage war in, and occupy, Muslim countries.

The latest incident in an attempted airline bombing has resulted in the U.S. launching Operation Overreact. When it comes to so called safety measures, our government is awesome in reacting after the fact. Our government apparently had the intel it needed to identify the alleged bomber but the system failed. The system always fails. No system is perfect, whether the vanguards of that system be human or machine.

In the aftermath of the failed attack, more invasive preboarding procedures have been instituted. All Muslims are now being profiled. Non compliance with any rules during flight is now met with extreme response. A drunk person locked in a bathroom results in the scrambling of two F-16 jets. If the person was a bomber what were the F-16’s going to do, shoot the plane down? Seeing that kind of response can only make the people who plan real attacks giddy. They’ve been using low tech, now they can go no tech. All they have to do is send people on planes and have them act suspicious. They could coordinate a massive red herring attack and have the air full of jet fighters threatening to shoot down planes full of travelers, and while all this confusion is happening they could pull off something really devious. For all of the billions we spend on national security, there seems to be no answer to low tech. Remember, Timothy McVeigh sheared a building in half with just a rented truck full of ammonia nitrate and fertilizer, substances that were obtained from commercial outlets. McVeigh was hardly an Einstein. Any fool can blow stuff up, all they need is the proper motivation.

If we aren’t going to trust any Muslims and profile them for any flight why not just give them their own airline? Wouldn’t Americans feel better and safer if there were no Muslims on the planes they fly on? Muslim Air would be awesome. Non Muslims would no longer be subjected to over-the-top preboard searches and in the air they would have piece of mind because they wouldn’t have cause to think their plane is going to get blown up. Muslim Air would be even better for Muslims. There would be no security checks at all, just get your boarding pass and get on the plane. The planes would have Muslim pilots and Muslim flight attendants. They could have Muslim movies, Muslim newspapers and magazines, and Muslim food and drink. If terrorists are targeting infidels then there would be no reason to bomb a Muslim plane, and if one was blown up who would care? The world doesn’t seem to care too much when Muslims are blown up, so the terrorists wouldn’t get any symbolic mileage out of blowing up a Muslim plane. Many Americans would actually applaud the blowing up of a plane full of Muslims and the last thing the terrorists want to see is happy Americans.

Funding a Muslim airline would not be a problem. Tax exported oil from Muslim countries. Tax the Saudi Royal Family and a luxury tax on all the other wealthy Muslim families that hoard their countries wealth, they can afford it (isn‘t it ironic that most of the Muslim bombers come from well to do families? Let the poor and working class ride for free!). I’m sure Wall Street would love to get in on the action. It would be a win-win for everybody. We embraced Separate But Equal once, why not again? When you count the billions of tax payer money we don’t even have, spent daily on waging war in Muslim countries to defeat terrorist, wouldn’t Muslim Air make much more sense economically? Even better than that, think of all the lives that would be saved. American soldiers would not have to spend their days half way across the world trying to avoid stepping on land mines and Muslim families would not have to be shot and bombed to death in their own homes and neighborhoods, well, at least not by us.

Outrageous you say? Is not what is going on in the world right now not outrageous? In my mind we are well past outrageous. I’d fly on Muslim Air. There is no fun in flying as it is so what would I have to lose? I could just as easily get run over by a car in San Francisco riding my bike (it has happened twice already) than get blown up in a plane. I believe if terrorist really just want to kill people we can’t stop it. With all the arms and bombs being manufactured and sold around the globe, killing lots of people has become one of the easiest things in the world to do. From one disgruntled employee or college student who goes to work or school armed to the teeth, to organized and heavily armed drug cartels and terrorists cabals, to organized and tax payer funded armies supplemented by private mercenaries under contract (who are the best armed of all), killing people by the dozens has become ubiquitous. We are becoming desensitized to it, and it’s not because of video games or movies, that is just a reflection. It is because of what is actually happening out there in the world everyday, with a worldwide, instantaneous media to keep the score and tons of internet forums and partisan websites for average citizens to use the fodder to point out how good their guy is and how bad the other guy is (Bush vs. Obama).

Something has to give. Economically and socially we are starting to more and more resemble the Soviet Union. Muslim Air could be part of fixing the problem. The Muslim countries lie between Europe, the America’s and their number one business partners, Japan and China (well, they own our debt). It’s where western civilization started. It’s the land of Biblical tales (talk about irony). The Romans, the Ottomans, the British, and the Soviets, have all failed in their attempts to dominate them, and we in America seem to be the next big loser in the Middle Eastern/Central Asia Exploitation Sweepstakes. Flying is the ultimate symbol of freedom. Maybe we should let them in on the action. Muslim Air, it could change the world.